Last week I ran my last 20-miler for this training cycle. I’m glad because if you asked me if I had the legs to run 20 miles this week, the answer is no. I can’t even do the 5-mile tempo that’s on the plan. I ran three times this week, all around 3 miles. I signed up for a last minute half in Jersey because I need the adrenaline of a race to get me through a long run. I’m really tired.
And not just tired from training for a marathon for the past 13 weeks.
I’m emotionally exhausted from work. I left work Thursday (I swapped out my Tuesday and Thursday schedule this past week) quite happy because I had a rare Friday with no meetings schedule. This meant that I could work from home. One of the reasons why I like working from home is because it saves me the commute time (2-3 hours of total commute time) so I get even more work done or I have time to do other things. Thursday evening trouble started (actually trouble started a while ago, but I/we thought it was dispatched). I went to bed thinking there was a 80% chance that I had to go in the next day. The first thing I did when I woke up was to check email. Full-blown crisis. I skipped the tempo run that was planned. I drank coffee and drove in. Several hours in a meeting discussing how to handle the situation, what was our strategy, what were the consequences of different plans, what was the future course of action, etc, etc, etc, happened. We reached a consensus of what to do. By the time I was finally done at 4, I was wiped out.
I drove home with the only thought being that I needed a drink. To understand the gravity of this, you need to know that I don’t drink much. I’m purely a social drinker. I like to drink when I’m out with friends. I rarely drink when it’s just Ben and me because I don’t consider Ben to be people. Like a true introvert, while I do like being around people, I find it tiring and need to spend several hours alone to recuperate from a few hours of socializing. I am able to live with Ben and spend all my time with him without being exhausted because I don’t see him as a person, but more like as an extension of myself. When I explained all this to him, he thought it was the nicest dehumanizing comment. Ha!
But last night I needed a drink badly. We went out for dinner. The restaurant didn’t have a liquor license, but they were cool with our bringing in a bottle. Ben quickly went to the wine shop next door to buy a bottle of red wine. I had two glasses. Even when I’m out with friends, I usually only have a single drink. By nature I’m not much of a drinker. So two glasses were a big deal.
This morning I set out to run. The weather was cool. No excuses not to have a good run. People handle stress in different ways. I know many people who need to run when they have stress. When I’m stressed, running is the last thing I can do. After a half mile, I realized that I couldn’t handle a 5-mile tempo. I slowed down and decided to just do a single loop of the park.
I’m tired. Thank goodness for tapering.